Sometimes I'm fine. In some moments I think I can do it. To accept the situation. To accept the fact that they are alone. Sometimes I can think of him with detachment. To delete from those memories and make a clean sweep of feelings. I think, there will be a better life.
But then there are lunches like today, sitting in a bar chatting with a friend. A friend who is so harsh and cruel to me says it's over. You never get a second chance. Have you been given a second chance. Perhaps you have been given it so much. And you would not see them.
And these lunch breaks I reject terror.
Then came a phone call. The unsuspecting friend's phone call asking me if I see you. And which story is over. Incredulos leaving her and me in disbelief and utter the words "is over." And the friend will not tell you "come back together." We respond, in half words, "I can not think about it" and "Take the flowers of bach."
But the final stab, the one that left me without collapsing to the ground, however, kill me, was a call from my father. In such a situation as complicated is my family, with my mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown and fear that nothing will ever go well, because I get to that family there ... that the life had just kicked and misery.
telefonta And that kind, to wish me a good trip, I was destroyed.
anxiety that builds up to anxiety. Fears fears. Terror to terror.
never goes away.
Last night I fell asleep gently rocked by the thought of me, my father and my mother lying on a bed of death. And I was the executioner.
But even so we will find peace.
No peace for us. I have had 15 years of pure joy. But evidently happiness must not be part of my existence.
Each of us is born with a destiny.
Or maybe not. I was given the opportunity to change my destiny. But I've thrown away. I stupidly, lazily thrown away bitterly.
And I'll have another chance.
Maybe this is our destiny. Four
unhappy that roam the world without any purpose. Whose life has no reason to exist.
I was happy thinking that could be alleviating the plight of my mother. Now there are more. And she is plunged back into the black tragedy. Blacker. Because he knows that will not see a positive end.
Why is this happening?
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