How To Stop Reynolds Syndrome

Twelfth day ... The hopes are drowned in the heart

that Verbatim I said, gently and coldly by phone:
no in my heart right now. It is a moment mine. Where there's only me. And when that time will end, you will have the same opportunities that everyone else can have. If there is still some possibility for some.
and gym is a nice person. I work well. But for the moment there is nothing for her. As there is nothing for you.
I want to trust him.
And I want him to trust me. I would like who finds himself in love.
The love that I now feel very strong, beyond all the hurt I caused him and that I have suffered.
He, however, is empty. Destroyed. The deepest part of me knows that you lost. Forever. Remains alive that tiny hope that turns me on his mom every time I talk to her.
But she knows the whole situation ...
will end in November. It will begin in December. A month of light and the scent of cinnamon and homemade cookies. I will not have that. I will have the loneliness and terror, and perhaps in this loneliness and terror will try to find a way of my own. That at the moment I can not see. Because maybe, after Game, there's a road to follow.
When you love someone as I have loved him to think that love is impossible, intense, pure, clean, can return for another. I can only put it back into play for him. I alone with him.
Tomorrow I can not write. At my parents' house will be isolated. There will be nothing for me. And he will be just another house. The same block. I would like to shake my mom. And sleep forever. Back in her womb and be born again. Or not born at all. Never again.
How did I miss this? How did they do that?
I do not ever give you peace. I re-read the messages that I wrote yesterday.
Those words kind and full of affection, but distant, without passion. Without love note.
And I wonder if there is still something for me ....
When I get back to writing to be 15 °. 15 days of endless torture and pain. And on and on. Game
I love you.

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Twelfth day ... How should I be

1) present but not intrusive -> Do not return home when he's there but somehow let him know that this is still my home

2) Be sweet but not saccharine -> I would like to fill it with kisses, hugs and caresses ... I would only live for him.

3) Nothing jealous -> Why Gym has put in our midst?

I wish I had a crystal ball ... To see how all this will end ...

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Twelfth day ... The sadness of today and the future

I stayed by my. For the first time in over 8 years. And while he accompanied her home, I vomited in the bathroom pain and fear. I imagined them together in one bed, one that I changed before I go, two of them tenderly embraced. The look on her sweet of him. I did not know what I deserve. The heart full of love and hope ... To set a path that is becoming increasingly imminent. And while I lack so much. And while it snows again, for the second time intensive, emptiness and loss are causing a chasm in me. Do not ever love anyone like I loved Game.

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Undicesemo day ... The future of today


1 st paper: THIS


The Hanged Man symbolizes a secret, romantic love might not initially paid. Possible temporary removal of a partner towards a happy future together.








2nd card: The Judgement


in sentimental Judgement symbolizes a return, the possible revival of a bond.







3 rd card: FUTURE


The Hermit The Hermit represents a mature love where partners respect each others privacy.

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Tenth day ... The letter

I know that I must avoid by all means any contact with you. I know very well. Only in this moment I miss you so much. Once, many years ago, I would have written a living ...
But since it is over, to die is more appropriate.
I asked Michael if he was stupid or not write. He talked to you. And though I asked him what you said (and he, of course, told me), his answers I understand what you have told him.
Michele told me to write that it was no use. And it is. I know myself. There is no point.
only one of many oracles that I consulted this morning said, "do not listen to the advice of a friend."
And so I write.
I am writing to tell you that I miss. And I know that there will never be a return. You would not have jumped to fresh 15-year history, with all that's been our story for a while. Is it true that you needs time. But it is the time to detachment. Not if you look in your heart there is a small part that still beats for me.
I know that it is not the way I look. Your eyes communicate only penalty. And you do not like even more than physically. I do not see more as a woman. Just like a beaten dog that you loved me so much. And to whom did you become allergic and you are forced to leave.
I, however, I've used these days, almost two weeks, to find in me a love for you. A love useless. That hurts both.
What hurts you with guilt. It kills me with pain. A pain in my life that I had never tried. One thing excruciating. Physics. You
splits into four. Keeps you from thinking. Work.
There is nothing that interests me. I, who had a life full of interests are completely emptied.
Tonight will be the last in your home. Maybe that happens we will return. But never with you. Ever closer together.
My God how I miss you ...
pray to God that we did get back together. Lovers happy as we were not ever. But the hope is dead.
Now I pray to God to help me pull the plug

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Tenth day ... The tarot cards (this morning)


1 st paper: THIS
The High Priestess The High Priestess
Flipped upside down suggests to pay attention to lies or lies by the person concerned. Possible frivolous and superficial behavior on the part of the beloved. Do not listen to bad advice.






2nd card: The Hermit
Flipped
This paper portends coldness in a relationship. You have the desire for solitude and time to stand on their own.









3 rd card: FUTURE
Wheel of Fortune
This paper shows that luck is on their side. The report may evolve favorably.

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Tenth day ... Tarot (yesterday)

I started to play me know about them online. Just like that To test. In the belief that "I would have been good and not evil." But when the responses began to arrive, all more or less equal, I locked all my hope. I chained my dreams. Not that we really believe. It's a little 'how to read their horoscope. But perhaps a little 'I believe ... A bit 'like when you read your horoscope.
Tomorrow I return to my parents. I have the distinct feeling that in that house, now her home, do not set foot. If you do to recover my stuff.
Yesterday I wrote an email to his father. It was a sincere email. When I tried to be fair and honest. He did not even answer. Even for them are scum become ...

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The ping pong

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The Chinese are wizards to run the ball, and this video shows him (although I doubt it's a fake harass):

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Day Nine ... Farewell NY


And so I did. I decided not to go to NY. I never thought would happen. I did not think I would have made. But I did. I wrote the email that will mark my death sentence. Farewell to NY. One of the things that I wanted more ... See NY at Christmas. Seeing it lit up and turned on. Bright and sparkling lights ... Farewell to NY. I can not even think about it. But it's the truth. And do not even want to know how I'll be that week ...

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Day Nine ... Humiliation

Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. Please, hold your hand. Please. Please. Please.
Close your fingers. Serral in my. Dai. Do it. Do it. Do it.
my mistake to seek an intimacy that does not exist. I still love to ask him wrong. They are an illusion to hope to go back. What surprised me with something huge. Great. Gotta find the strength to resign. Stop crying and go on living. How bad did I? As I was humbled by all?

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Eighth Day ... Loneliness

'm always alone. Only when I eat. Only when I sleep. Alone in pain. And only joy. Alone in my thoughts. Alone in the city that is preparing to welcome Christmas. Only aping another me. I'll never be too pure? Why such contempt for me? I am looking for someone to give me comfort. But I can not find anyone. It's my fault? Maybe it's my fault. I wish she was here. And I wish I humiliated. I wish there were some attempts. I would love. I desperately need love. One love sincere. I have not.

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Eighth Day ... The lack

I miss it so much that I can hardly breathe. But does not answer my mail. I do not look. Do not send me messages. Talk to me only if absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, Christmas is approaching. And I can not find the strength to survive.
The deep contempt in her eyes. His gaze when he looks at me. A deep sorrow at heart. My heart when I think of him. And I think about him every second. If only I could turn back ....

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Eighth Day ... Came the snow ... And I was not there

The snow is here and I was not there. Yeah. I was not there to enjoy it. I was not there to think about how to make it hot for my return home (which home?) Tonight. I was not there to light candles cinnamon and ginger. To prepare apple pies and hot soups.
came the snow and I was somewhere else.
Why all this is happening to me? Really I deserve all this suffering? I was really a terrible person? And because I only need to examine their conscience? Why do I only need to change? Why my every gesture, word, action has been Interpret in the most negative and destructive as possible?
I was accused of having spent their lives to attack. But now they are being attacked by everyone and all alone ... who stands up to scream in my defense, "yes. but maybe ...".
Yesterday, the intersection of the dark night coming down fast in Milan, I felt the loneliness unoversale deep. With the cars that passed me full of happy people, maybe. With the clatter of the tram as I waited for mine. Looking up a sky without stars. I know what it means to be alone in the world.

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sixth day ... Nobody to blame

To Blame ... is a verb that is coming back often. No blame. Blame. Who has a sweet sound. But a bad sense: to blame. Blame. Blaming ...
Blame ...
Nobody to blame.
No one to blame.
When there will be no one to blame ... I will save? Blame
to return to pure? To blame blame
=

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sixth day ... Hey There Delilah



This è una canzone che un ragazzo molto dolce, ignaro di tutto, mi ha dedicato oggi.
Il testo dice:

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in new York city
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time square cant shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do
to me What you do to me

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sixth day ... Why Alessia runs

43 minutes. With a final snap of 3. And I could easily run 6 more. Right around the Arena. 6 minutes. Maybe 12. Maybe forever. How can run faster Gym?

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Viva chapel

No, it is a post a bit (p) porn, but I speak of the video I show you a wizards who decided to pay tribute to John Williams in this way:

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