that Verbatim I said, gently and coldly by phone:
no in my heart right now. It is a moment mine. Where there's only me. And when that time will end, you will have the same opportunities that everyone else can have. If there is still some possibility for some.
and gym is a nice person. I work well. But for the moment there is nothing for her. As there is nothing for you.
I want to trust him.
And I want him to trust me. I would like who finds himself in love.
The love that I now feel very strong, beyond all the hurt I caused him and that I have suffered.
He, however, is empty. Destroyed. The deepest part of me knows that you lost. Forever. Remains alive that tiny hope that turns me on his mom every time I talk to her.
But she knows the whole situation ...
will end in November. It will begin in December. A month of light and the scent of cinnamon and homemade cookies. I will not have that. I will have the loneliness and terror, and perhaps in this loneliness and terror will try to find a way of my own. That at the moment I can not see. Because maybe, after Game, there's a road to follow.
When you love someone as I have loved him to think that love is impossible, intense, pure, clean, can return for another. I can only put it back into play for him. I alone with him.
Tomorrow I can not write. At my parents' house will be isolated. There will be nothing for me. And he will be just another house. The same block. I would like to shake my mom. And sleep forever. Back in her womb and be born again. Or not born at all. Never again.
How did I miss this? How did they do that?
I do not ever give you peace. I re-read the messages that I wrote yesterday.
Those words kind and full of affection, but distant, without passion. Without love note.
And I wonder if there is still something for me ....
When I get back to writing to be 15 °. 15 days of endless torture and pain. And on and on. Game
I love you.
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